Not a drunkard… how come?
January 26, 2008 at 6:42 pm (Awsome, Humor, Life, Rant)
I had to try it a second time… Lush ( 72% ) was just unbearable.
Think you can do better… for your sake i hope not.
The “WTF” award.
April 20, 2007 at 10:35 am (Awsome, Humor, WTF award)
Sorry I didn’t updated the site more during the past weeks but it’s been rather quiet and boring lately. I spent most of this month reading about video embedding on my free time… I hope the result will show somehow.
For this month WTF award I bring you HALOID!
See you next month with something to rant about… I hope!
PS: If anyone know how to embed a video from “Game Trailers” let me know.
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Edit: This month contestant for the WTF award has been dethroned… this is the real winner for this month.
http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=46391&in_page_id=34
Can’t get any weirder then this… I hope!
The “WTF” award.
February 28, 2007 at 6:35 pm (Humor)
I always find the most hilarious stuff on the web and there is nowhere else that I can post this without consequence so I decided to create this section in my blog. The “WTF” award will be presented once every month with something fresh, funny and just plain politically incorrect.
I found this product review on Amazon.com on a Chiquita Bananas sale. There was other insanity out there but this one made me laugh hard. Enjoy.
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A ripe banana is like renewed faith. It’s part of the reason that I became a born christian again. The banana is the fruit that I like the most because it has opened my eyes to a whole new world of beauty - Creationism. This fruit is a testament to the Lords creative genius. It is perfectly designed for use and consumption by the human being, and it has been an integral part of our diets since the Earth was first created over 5,000 years ago.Let us take a good, hard look at the intelligent design of the Banana. The banana was meant to be eaten. That’s why it exists. There is nothing that a banana wants more than to be gobbled down by a hungry believer. Evidence of this fact lies in the construction of the banana itself. For example, take a large, ripe banana. Notice how it is encased in a hard, rubbery substance to protect itself from harm. The banana wouldn’t want to bruise because then the children of God would have less desire to eat him. Also take note of how the rubbery substance acts as an indicator of the condition of the fruit inside. Green: too early: Yellow: just right, and Black: too late.
A more subtle testament to creation is the way that the banana is shaped. Notice how, due to curvature, the banana fits neatly into… the human hand. On the far side of the banana there are three ridges, and on the close side there are two ridges. If you get your hand ready to grip a banana you will find that on the far side there are three groves and on the close side two groves. This ‘locks’ the banana in place. A perfect accompaniment to the human hand.
Finally you will notice that there is a ‘tab’ at the top of the banana (It works the same way that a soda can would!). With this tab you can peel the soft shell of the banana off, and the contents won’t squirt in your face. Now the fruit, soft and naked, is exposed.(Notice how it was Adam and Eve who sinned, and nothing else. Things like fruit did not sin and that is why they remain ‘naked’)
Now that the fruit is exposed and ready to be eaten you will notice that the fruit glides gently into the human mouth, just like the Holy Spirit glides gently into the souls of those who accept Him. Because of the way the banana curves there is a lock-and-key fit between the fruit and the lips of a saved Christian. As a bonus, the fruit itself is very sweet, which provides Gods children with an extra incentive to indulge in it.
Realize also that the good lord does not create anything with one single purpose. Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins and God wants all of us to make the absolute most out of everything He has created. Because of this, the Lord or God has given the banana an Alternative use. The banana can, as you may have already guessed, be used as a disciplinary tool on ones children. God commands that every parent beat his child senseless. (So that they may one day become sensible Christians) This I know, for the Bible tells me so. Allow me to quote scripture: “Spare the rod, spoil the child”. With this in mind, one can logically conclude that God created the banana for both physical and spiritual nourishment. Again, the way that the banana curves comes into play. It is perfectly built for clubbing your disobedient son or daughter and steering them back onto the path of riteousness. Simply strip them naked and begin hammering their behind with the fruit for at least fifteen minutes with no breaks in between.
Alot of todays parents have turned away from Gods word and have instead opted to treat their children in a loving or caring manner. Don’t be fooled by modern pseudo-intellectual psychology. It is the work of Satan and all children who receive this kind of treatment are hell-bound. Do not spare your child this fruity discipline, for if you do I am afraid that your child has a 100% chance of becoming a [...] demon. Now I ask you, what is better? To tender their hearts with love, or to tender their bottoms with bananas? We’ll let God decide.
(Also, do not forget to eat the banana after you have finished beating your child. Only a glutton would be so wasteful)
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See you next month with the next “WTF” Award.
